Here is a scary story for your Halloween. Follow the tribulations of young Jackie, who is about to make his first confession. If he makes a bad confession, he risks an eternity of hellfire! But he does not want to confess at all ...because he wants to kill his granny.
This short film is based on the fantastically good short story
First Confession by Frank O'Connor [PDF]. If you haven't read the story yet, you may want to give it a quick read beforehand
—just to see how much the filmmakers got right. This is richly entertaining.
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Mary Tyler Moore, Barbara Nair, and Jane Elliot play three young, hot nurse nuns with who want to help the community. But they’re working undercover! They each shed their wimple (“just a symbol of authority”) for plain clothes. “For once in our religious lives, we’re not going to be different.” (FUN FACT: This movie was made shortly after Catholicism’s [still] controversial Vatican II – which takes Jesus to the people by allowing guitars on the altar.)
Elvis Presley plays a street-wise ghetto doctor who runs a free clinic. Elvis sees these women as Park Avenue debutantes. Mary counters that they are on a diplomatic mission. Elvis retorts: “Honey, diplomacy starts and ends here on the point of a switchblade knife.” Are these surreptitious sisters in over their heads?
In 92 minutes, we see our protagonists encounter:
• Rape jokes
• Racist neighbors
• Urban blight
• A cranky parish priest who doesn’t like “underground nuns who wear bobbed hair and silk stockings”
• Drug abuse
• An abused teenager with speech problems and inner demons
• Threats of rape
• An asocial girl who might be autistic (“Artistic? Nah. She don’t even pick up a crayon” – no autism script is complete without that knee-slapper.)
• An evil loan shark
• A 16-year-old who wants to undress for our leading man #FatefulFindings
• A local grocer who swindles his customers
• The grueling “rage reduction” quack treatment for autism that today would get a doctor busted for assault
• Black power stand-ins who confront the Black nun, “You’re either part of the problem or you’re part of the solution.” “And we’ve got a feeling you’re neither.”
• Threats of disfigurement
• A friendly neighborhood game of touch football
• A musical number on a carousel in which Elvis sings about putting on a warm, smiling face. Subtextually, Elvis and Mary are falling for each other. Mary leans out to grab a ring (symbolizing marriage) but she cannot reach it because she is on her own private Jesus-Go-Round. (The autistic girl is a good sport through all of this.)
• Violent henchmen of the loan shark
• Public protests
• A beat cop played by Ed Asner
• Church robberies
• An Elvis fist fight
• An attempted rape
• An Elvis karate fight
• All manner of social issues 1969 had on offer
• An ending that looks largely cobbled together in the editing room
It looked like this would be the serious dramatic acting role Elvis had wanted for years. He took acting lessons. Colonel Parker, however, was none pleased. Director William A. Graham recalls the Colonel saying, “Well listen, Sonny… Let me tell you something. We make these movies for a certain price and they make a certain amount of money, no less and no more… Don't you be goin' for no Oscar, Sonny, because we ain't got no tuxedos.” This ended up being Elvis’ last theatrical film.
What makes it strange? No noticeable act structure. More plot lines than Twin Peaks: The Return. An Elvis movie where we see Elvis perform only three songs. “In the Ghetto” isn’t one of them. You could say it doesn’t hold up, but the movie was actually sick-and-wrong in its own time. Plus, we get to see Ed Asner eat a banana while using the word “vituperative.”
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