Now just so we're clear, I want folks to understand that when I say "Intelligent Design," I don't mean it in the same way that some faggy creative director type wearing Woody Allen glasses does when he's talking about how some crappy website or electro-gizmo is easy to use. No, I'm referring to the FACT that humanity was invented, manufactured and distributed exclusively by God from his state-of-the-art mega-factory in the clouds. And while, yes, God Himself did engage in a certain amount of "design," that hardly means He's the kind of Nancy Boy who would subscribe to Architectural Digest or cream His jeans over the latest iMac.
Anyway, today, after having consulted at length with America's most intelligentest Creation Scientists, I am proud to present the evidence that both DISPROVES Darwin's absurd theory of evolution AND will make up the foundation of Intelligent Design Public Education for generations to come! (Applause.)
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