Compiled from Times wires
Published June 23, 2006
At a joint press conference today in Washington, White House adviser Karl Rove said that he would be plotting the Republican Party’s fall election strategy with his longtime comrade-in-arms, Satan.
The Prince of Darkness, wearing his traditional red horns and cape and carrying a smoldering pitchfork, appeared to beam as Mr. Rove, his protege, talked about how much he was looking forward to working with him on the fall campaign.
“Every time Satan and I get together, good things happen,” Rove said, adding, “Or should I say - bad things happen!”
The two of them then dissolved in laughter, demonstrating an easy collegiality that has made them an unbeatable team in past GOP campaigns.
Satan’s partnership with Rove goes back to 1994, when the two of them teamed up to orchestrate George W. Bush’s first election as governor.
But their work together reached its apogee, perhaps, during the 2004 presidential election, in which Rove and Satan devised the infernal “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth” campaign.
While Satan let Rove have most of the spotlight in the hour-long press conference, he did take the microphone to say that he had been “relieved” recently when the White House advisor was cleared of all charges in the CIA leak investigation.
“I can’t imagine running a Republican campaign without my buddy here,” he said, giving Rove a bear hug. “There are plenty of Satans out there, but there’s only one Karl Rove.”
Elsewhere, Dan Rather retired from CBS after 44 years there but said that he would remain active in news and misinformation.