Scam Bait II

My name is jane timi and i am 28 years old I am a very tolerant person and down to earth,dont intefer into other peoples buisness cos i like to respect their privacy.I am looking foe someone that i could confide in as a family and that could confide in me as well.I am open minded and also free with anyone.I am looking for someone that is honest and calm and most especially a tructworthy person. Please you could email me at jane_timi_2005@yahoo.com or if you have a yahoo messenger you could add me to your messenger list or set up a yahoo account so we can get talking,here is a link to my pic you can click on it to view my pic.My id is jane_timi_2005

Regards

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Well aren't you just a chocolate angel from Heaven above! Ngah-ha-wha!

My name is Hans McLir. I own several properties but now I am looking for a roomy for my personal estate in Detroit, MI. Ever since my partner/choreographer moved out in such a huff, I have been wrought
enjittered by my loneliness and nostalgia for the days of days gone by. Alas, the Paris of '77 will never return. But I digress.
Yes, darling, I do have a room available. I also see you are a model. Tell me, you look just like my favorite actress Moesha. Tell me is it you? Is this your coy way of responding to my fan mail?
Now that the aforemantioned Floyd is no longer handling my bookkeeping, I am beside myself with the tasks of the feduciaries and the modalities and sundry whatnots. Forgive me if I an unable to repond promptly.
I have enclosed a picture of myself from a recent Community Theater production.

Toodles,
-- Hans

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Thanks for the mail and i appreciate your efforts towards this,well i need more info from you regards to the room and also i need to know the depoist that i will be paying before i arrive,i am from ENGLAND,but currently based in west africa now with my mom because she works for a missionary school and she is posted down here,i want to move over to the US,Kindly get back to me ASAP with the deposit i need to pay because i will like to pay for the deposit before my arrival and i will like to know the total amount i will be paying for a whole year but i will like to pay the deposit first of all,I am single as i said and i dont have a bf presently,I do part time modelling and also i have finished with my
masters programme.I am coming over to your place,I am new with this roommates of a thing so i did not know how to update my profile.I do modell and i have job offers already in the US,I have my masters degree in accounting.My job will be based on contracts so i do not have to go to work all the time,I will only need to go to work 3 times in a week.I saw the pics you sent and its really cute.

Well, i think we will get along well because am a easy going person who respects ones privacy,like i said i dont do drugs or smoke but i drink only occasionally,i think i will enjoy to leave with you.I will be glad if you have a yahoo messenger so we can chat and talk more and get to know each other better,my yahoo messenger id is jane_timi if you have a yahoo account you can add me am allways online,or you can set up a yahoo account its free,well here is the link to my pic
http://profiles.yahoo.com/jane_timi_2005 you can click on that,i will love to see your pic as well.Please kindly get back to me ASAP.Hope to hear from you soon.

Regards

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Dear Moesha,

Sweetheart, I cannot tell you what a godsend you are, given my current state of despair. When love leaves, the drabness of the heart seems beyond remedy. Then a light appears from the clear blue and shines the way.
I am delighted that you are an accountant. Perhaps it is premature to ask but if you are able to decrypt the labyrinthine finances of my personal holdings, I would be so enormously grateful. Tax time is fast approaching and the forms, the forms, the forms, they nibble like a zillion ducks at the humble loaf of bread which is my mind.
But I am jumping ahead.
So you wish to move to America my little gingersnap? Very well. I do have a marvelous room available. I should tell you it is Floyd's old room (or the "shrine to Floyd," as I now refer to it). Attached is a picture.
Floyd's tastes ran from the kitschy to the jejune and I trust you will refrain from touching any of the priceless artifacts.
The bed you can use. I will remove the zebra-skin blankets and preserve them properly in my underground vault.
Now I should warn you that I am of a persuasion that the unschooled may find eccentric. Ngyarng-ngyarng! Ex-squeeze me, did I say that?

Anyhoo, my daily regimen is very strict.
4:30am I awaken to Wagner on the Hi-Fi and proceed to engage in nude calisthenics and jogging in the wintry climes of my estate. I advise you to shutter your windows. No one needs to see a broken-hearted old
man dancing naked in the snow.
The purpose of this folly is merely cardiovascular. My only exhibitionism is the company of fellow thespians. Are you interested in the Theater?
7:00am sharp my servants provide a breakfast of carrots and imitation soy food cast into exotic shapes.
8:30am I continue working on my greatest invention ever! A piano! The largest piano ever built!
Interspersed, I divide my time between the house finances, kung fu and practicing show tunes. I have the lungs of a steamer ship and the walls in this overpriced mansion are thinner than the shim of a
scrim. I hope you like music.
Dinner is the time to entertain. Vodka, Jameson's and tequila all flow freely amid the appetizers of Cheeze-Its, dried mushrooms and beets.
Every Friday, I host the Detroit Whiffenpoofs – strapping young men one and all. There are a few I know less well than the others and perhaps you may find among them a good husband if you are into that
kind of thing.
10:00pm primal scream therapy
11:00pm a night cap
11:45pm bed.
I am a light sleeper so please don't make any noises. A bed pan will be provided to you to spare us both the creaky nuisance of nighttime bathroom trips.
In my spare time, I serve the great art of the Theater – my only enduring love, alas. Despite the bombasts, the prima donnas and the megalomaniacs, it has never played fickle with my tender heart.
My nickname in the local theater troupe is "the tyrant." You should know the name is earned as much from respect as from fear.
But I have rambled too much.

Let us now get down to business.
The deposit on the room is $10,000. Then it is $5,000 per month for a total of $60,000 per year.
However, you have shown such generosity that I am willing to waive the deposit entirely. I require only one condition: Allow me to teach you proper grammar. Your command of English is woeful and repugnant. If you are a model and an accountant, you must comport yourself in a manner befitting a lady of your intrinsic
beauty.
If I had not seen your picture I would have presumed you were some manner of petty thief given the coarseness of your linguistic habits. I demand nothing less than perfection from each and all for whom I
bless company. Those who devote themselves always find benefit and shower me with praise for my wisdom.
Except, of course, Floyd.
Excuse me, I must stop writing now.
Thank you for waiting.
As for the estate finances, I could use your advice on how to renew my property as an official wildlife preserve for the State of Michigan. My staff is completely flummoxed on this detail. Perhaps your
accounting experience may help.

So what do you say?
I shall teach you grammar and waive the deposit. Then you can move here far less expensively. I will teach to express yourself with greater precision and the rest is the humble bounty of my estate.
I am anxious to give you a tour of the grounds. There is a snake house, a monkey house, caribou, oxen, a heavily sedated Bengal tiger and dozens of parrots (the parrots must live indoors during these cold months). My dearest per, Olivier the llama, endures all the vicissitudes of the local climate. Llamas are very wise animals. To listen to their silence ennobles the soul.
Please write back soon as I am temperamental when patience defies me.

Toodles,
-- Hans

[Awaiting Jane's reply]